I hate naysayers.

Look, it’s my job to critique the play of poker players but when I’m actually at a table myself you’ll never catch me mocking the play of another player unless I’m A) really drunk or B) down a lot of money because of an .

This was not the case in the September 14th Party Poker 300K which featured not 1 but 2 players who were just so bright, so brimming with knowledge that they couldn’t help themselves from giving some salty in-game analysis.

Here’s the first part of my analysis: neither of them won.

Let’s take a look at the final table players; how they played, how they fared and how much money the made (all dollar values are in USD:)

10. charette13 / $2,850 / 0 hands won / 0 players eliminated

Canadian player charette13 came into the final table as the second shortest stack with about 295,000 in chips (and blinds beginning at 15,000 / 30,000.) As such, he had but two options – fold or all-in. He picked all-in with his A9 but ran into renowned online tournament player, geirto_’s AK. All told, charette13 left the Party Poker 300K with another $2,850 in his account.

9. AKULA6000 / $4,050 / 0 hands won / 0 players eliminated

Russian player AKULA6000 entered final table play with a scratch under 400K at 398,000. He hung around for a while doing naught but folding his antes and blinds until he picked up the monster starting hand of 89 off-suit and went all-in. He was called and eliminated by danishdonk holding A8. AKULA6000 staked a claim to $4,050 for his ninth place exit.

8. playforleon / $5,250 / 5 hands won / 0 players eliminated

German player playforleon suffered an eighth place finish due to that most frigid of cold decks in the : KK v AA. Hand 7375216626 was a monster 2.4 million chip pot featuring playforleon’s KK against eventual second place finisher Kalli11’s AA. Despite entering the final table with the third biggest stack at 733,000, playforleon could do nothing but shake his head at his luck and take his $5,250 for a very well played final table.

7. danishdonk / $7,950 / 7 hands won / 1 player eliminated (AKULA6000)

Obviously hailing from Denmark, danishdonk was yet another strong player at the final table, entering play with 576,000 chips. He won a variety of pots through pre-flop raises and re-raises (which went uncalled) and even eliminated a player (AKULA6000.) But the poor guy could not win a race: he lost 3 races and suffered 2 suckouts mostly at the hand of third place finisher brelandas57 (who went all-in and was called on eight separate occasions throughout the final table alone.) danishdonk is anything but a donkey, he just couldn’t buy any luck. $7,950 for a star-crossed final table.

6. o3BE3DAo / $10,350 / 10 hands won / 0 players eliminated

I have mixed feelings about Russian player o3BE3DAo. First of all, he’s not particularly good at poker as hands 7375076426 and 7375166272 display. But by hook and by crook, he started the final table in a virtual tie for the big stack at 1.72 million. He made some boneheaded plays at the final table too (hand 7375193666 which we’ll get into later) but still managed to win 10 pots; 7 through straight pre-flop raises, 1 through a pre-flop re-raise and 2 more through post-flop re-re-raises – so at least he was erring on the side of aggression. But his somewhat clumsy aggression became a lightning rod for two players’ derision one of whom really got under my skin as a spectator – OBVI_TILT. o3BE3DAo took home $10,350 for an aggressive yet lucky performance

5. OBVI_TILT / $13,800 / 6 hands won / 0 players eliminated

Nordic chatterbox OBVI_TILT was in the middle of the pack the whole final table – he began with 508,000 chips and finished in fifth place. His play was unimpressive, winning a mere 6 hands (there were 105 hands played in the non-Heads up portion of the final table) solely through pre-flop aggression. But it’s not his play that I want to talk about – it’s his arrogant insecure yapping that caught my eye. Following hand 7375193666 which featured a wonderfully executed trapping of o3BE by Kalli11, a hand which had absolutely nothing to do with OBVI, OBVI_TILT typed “lol.” First of all, don’t rub a player’s face in mud after he’s just lost a big pot – that sucks. But especially not to a guy who has said nothing to you and after a pot in which YOU WERE NOT INVOLVED! Then (because idiots keep doing dumb stuff) OBVI folded a hand post-flop to Kalli11 and then continued to prattle on about what the then chip leader must’ve had and how he has to make that play (because no chip leader ever steals pots late in a tournament with monster blinds of 30,000/60,000.) THEN (because real idiots never stop) he suggested that the AA v. KK cold deck (hand 7375216626) was obvious and that he might’ve folded his Kings. Please, just shut up and take your $13,800. At least Phil Hellmuth is an awesome player too.

4. geirto_ / $16,350 / 10 hands won / 1 player eliminated (charette13)

It’s always nice to see Norway’s geirto_ at a final table, and a familiar sight he is. With 4 cashes and 3 top 15 finishes in 2008 Party Poker 300K’s alone, geirto_ is beginning to establish himself as one of the top online tournament players. He played solidly, as always, winning 10 hands largely through pre-flop aggression and re-raises. But with the blinds at 40,000 / 80,000, he was forced to go all-in with J8 suited on the button only to be called and eliminated by the luckiest player in the September 14th Party Poker 300K, brelandas57. geirto_ made a nifty $16,350 for his highest 2008 finish in a PP 300K.

3. brelandas57 / $20,700 / 13 hands won / 2 players eliminated (OBVI_TILT and geirto_)

French luck juggernaut brelandas57 began the final table poorly. Not only did he begin as the tiny stack at 217,000, he immediately folded his big and small blinds to come down well below the 200,000 mark. Honestly, I wrote in my notebook “brelandas57, weak player, trying to bleed up in the money.” And then came the luck – for the ensuing hour or so, brelandas57 could do no wrong. He won an at-risk all-in with J6 against J10, beat 66 with Q10 – the guy could not be stopped. Of his 13 hands won, 7 were on all-ins and 2 others were on player eliminations meaning that 9 times brelandas57 won an all-in showdown. While just about every player bowed to brelandas at some point, danishdonk was particularly picked on, losing 3 all-in showdowns (each of which with brelandas at risk) to brelandas. brelandas57 was ultimately undone holding that most notorious of hands, AQ, losing to Kalli11’s AK. $20,700 for a third place finish.

2. Kalli11 / $33,000 / 25 hands won / 4 players eliminated (playforleon, danishdonk, o3BE3DAo and brelandas57)

Heads up: 14 hands won / Began with 3.98 million chips

Kalli11 is one of the most well-known online tournament players from the rapidly growing German contingent. The guy was obviously one of the 2 or 3 best players at the table and may have been the best growing his initial 439,000 into a solid second place finish. He won 25 hands: 4 player eliminations, 2 post flop bets, 1 post flop re-raise, 1 post flop re-re-raise and 17 pre-flop bets – the guy knows how to play tournament poker. Which is why I was surprised by two decisions that Kalli made at the final table.

First, after making a brilliant call on o3BE with nothing but Ace-high, Kalli decided to let the sixth place finisher know that he had made a bad bluff by typing “Bad bluff.&r
dquo; I’m pretty sure that Kalli’s calling of the “bad bluff” was plenty evidence of it in fact being, a bad bluff. You just don’t need to say that to a guy who has not said anything to you. Hey, if a guy has been talking smack the whole table and then you call him down with nothing but Ace high, sure, mock away – but that was uncalled for.

Second, Kalli11 didn’t even look at a deal when he had entered Heads up play as the chip leader with the blinds at the astronomical 50,000/ 100,000 level (with 7,220,000 total chips in play, more than 2.4% of the total chips in play were at stake before a single card was dealt.) Those blinds are too high to play with and Kalli probably cost himself in the neighborhood of $12,000 – $17,000 by refusing to even check out a deal. Still, $33,000 for a very well played final table.

1.beukie555 / $60,000 / 29 hands won / 1 player eliminated (Kalli11)

Heads up: 16 hands won / Began with 3.24 million chips

The Netherlands is really pumping out some quality poker players, with its latest product pulling off the rare wire-to-wire outright victory in the September 14th Party Poker 300K. beukie555 entered the final table with the chip lead at 1.73 million, won the most hands and then won the whole thing.

Of his 29 hands won, 5 occurred post-flop without a showdown and 4 more occurred on re-raises without showdowns. Although, he only eliminated one player (the second place finisher,) each and every player at the final table felt the wrath of beukie at some point or another.

And while he did win the tournament, the final hand was an exercise in what happens with monster blinds and no deals. First, Kalli raised to 300,000 holding AJ off-suit which beukie called holding 42 of Spades. The flop came Jack high with 3 spades and that was that – so while I applaud beukie’s victory, with blinds at that level, really, either guy could have won. You’re not going to be on the flush end of that cold deck every time, beukie555; next time think about pushing for a deal.

Final Table Statistics*

105 Hands played
31 flops
22 turns
21 rivers
19 showdowns

*final table statistics do not include Heads up play

We’ll see you next week for the September 21st Party Poker $300,000 Guaranteed Prize Pool Weekly No Limit Texas Hold’em Poker Tournament.

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