My roommate's drunken activities

[happycamper374]

Hopefully he doesn't read this...

So, I live in a room with two other guys. Both I and one of the other guys usually stay with our girlfriends, so it's not as bad a situation as it sounds. Anyway, I took my tower home for break but left my monitors, speakers, keyboard and mouse right where there normally are. We had a big party one night, and I cleared off my bed so one of my friends could sleep in it. It's normally filled with clothes and junk because, as previously mentioned, I don't sleep there a lot. I piled my clothes underneath and to the front of my desk, which butts up against our bunk bed-ish loft. My roommate got extremely plastered and took a piss on my pile of clothes and on the desk, scoring a direct hit on my keyboard and expensive mouse, not to mention all the CD's and random crap that I keep there. How do I know this, you may ask. Not only was everything wet when I went over in the morning with no cup in sight, and not only did it smell like piss, but my friend was in the room when he did it. He was sleeping and my roommate came in, threw a hand against the loft to steady himself, and just went at it. I dont know why he chose that spot, because about two and a half feet down and two feet over is where his head is when he sleeps, right at ground level, and I know that some of it had to have gotten in his bed. The kicker is that this is the second time he has taken a leak in our room on my stuff. Hooray for college! Oh, and I'm moving into a single in a week or so.

[jp]

Glad to hear that you are moving into a single soon. It should be nice to not have to worry about people pissing on your stuff.

Just so you know you are not alone, I had a buddy in high school who was on the other end. He opened up some dude's dresser drawyer and relieved himself on all his clean clothes.

[scotty1139]

I have some great maneuvers to even the score, should the desire for revenge settle in your brain. None of them are criminal and/or destructive.

Paybacks are a bitch.

[miamipuck]

It would be ironic if he pissed on my stuff, because if he did that to me I would beat the fucking piss out of him! No joke that SOB would be picking his chicklets up off of the floor.

[mervhage]

True story, when I was a freshman in college back in '97, I had a roomate with a drinking problem. Back in my day, Thursday was a big night for everyone to go out and party. Me being the big dork I was (and still am), stayed in and did...most likely nothing, as I did a lot of that in college.

Anyhow, round-a-bout 4 in the morning while I'm sleeping, I "feel" something hit my leg and I awaken to my subconscious drunken roomate pissing on my bed... I jumped up and said, "what the fuck" and before I delivered a massive blow to his face, he turned around and went in to the bathroom and came back and crashed on his bed.

Since I was in total shock, I'm surprised I was able to keep a cool head. I went downstairs, washed my sheets, went back to sleep and still got up in time for my early class.

After class, I was chillin' with some of my friends and I told them what happened. One of my bigger friends (football player) got mad as hell and wanted to beat his ass (more than I did!). We went up to my room and my roomate was just waking up (lazy fuck) and my friend was ready to tear into him. Needless to say, I deaded the whole issue. The last thing I wanted was for any trouble to go down and someone get hurt (or in trouble with school), it just wasn't worth it.

I remember hearing my roomate say how scared he was when we came in that morning. I far as I was concerned, that was enough .

Okay, total thread hijack. Happy, if he damaged any of your stuff, he should pay you back, otherwise, to hell with him and move on. There are more important things in life!!!

[carrera]

not to double hijack...

freshman in '97...I had already been out of college for 10 years

[jacedk]

Glad to hear that this shit...or should I say piss ...happens to others as well. Back when I was in the Army, I shared a room with a couple of mechanics for a while. One of the took a piss on my stuff while drunk as well.

[kbar13]

Since there have already been a couple posts about pissing in inappropriate places, thought I would share too.

Was on the night before thanksgiving. My girlfriend had a keg at her place, she lived with her parents at this point since we were only freshmen in college, and had about 25 of our friends over. Not quite sure what happened but apperantly I finished a good portion by about 11, we started at like 9 and passed out. Sometime during the night, after our friends somehow got me to go upstairs and passed out on the couch, I got up and had to piss. I went into what I thought was the bathroom but was in fact the sun room. I lifted what appeared to be the toilet seat, but was actually a seat cushion and proceeded to take a piss. The only reason I remember any of this is because I woke up two of my friends who were happy to share the details to everyone, except the parents thank God. Oh, and I should mention that my girlfriend and I had only been dating about 2 months at this point and we are still together today.

[nurelic]

Dude that is sick and it's weird to hear that so many people have pissing story. But as I read through everybody else’s stories I remembered that I have a pretty sick pissing story of my own. I lived and grew up in a small development outside of the Southside of Houston. When I was 12 years old, I snuck into a party in the neighborhood for High School students and proceeded to drink as many beers as I could get my hands on. No one really knew me because my life primarily revolved around fishing so I wasn’t in a lot of social circles and (because I always looked older than I really was) no one ever questioned me about my age.

Well, as the party rolled on a couple of girls showed up in their van (I think they were sophomores who had just gotten their driving licenses). After a few minutes, it became clear that they wanted to stay on the road, since Daddy lent them the van for the night and they were looking for a couple of guys to go with them. You guessed it; I was one of the two guys they picked. We headed out towards Galveston and believe it or not things were going pretty good. And because I was having a good time I did really realizes that I needed to go make water...

We were at the very start of the Galveston Causeway, when the 5-6 beers that I’d had earlier finally started making their way through my system and my bladder started filling up. If you've never been to Galveston suffice it to say that the bridge is roughly 2 miles long and there's really nowhere to stop to use the restroom for at least another 3 or 4 more miles after you finally get on the other side.

Yeah I’m panicking!

I slowly dropped out of the conversation, consequently giving up my prime spot talking to the girls to the other guy who was all too happy to take my place, and sneak towards the back of the van. Knowing that there was no way I was going to be able to hold it and I franticly began to look for a can, a bottle, anything to get some relief. No such luck. I look to the window thinking, maybe I can hang it out the side without anyone noticing. Nope, the windows had screens on them.

SCREENS?! WTF!

I casually make my way over to the sliding door and notice that there is a small 'well' in front of the door (about 4" x 4") running the length of it.

I...it's...well...I mean what choice do I have; Dudes I'm 12!!

So I unzip, whip it out and let 'er flow. It felt like ten minutes before the last drops finally finished falling. The worse part was that I realize about half way through what I'm doing, but I'm helpless to stop because I hadn't quite master the technique of pinching the hose yet (Dudes I'm 12).

Once I'm through I move back up to my seat and slowly join back in the conversation. That's right; no one ever noticed. The guy was too engrossed with the girls and the girls were too thrilled to actually be driving to have ever noticed me. Unfortunately I was still in a panic as to what was going to happen when we finally stopped, the door was opened and a waterfall of piss poured out. I knew it was going to happen too, because I was sitting closest to the door and I could hear the gentle whooshing sound of the small yellow ocean I had just created every time we changed lanes.

Fortunately for me, by the time we did stop the rug (it was a shag rug since this happened in the late 70’s) had pretty much absorbed everything and there was no piss waterfall. So when we got back to the party everyone hopped out of the van and made their way back into the party as I snuck back out and went home embarrassed and laughing my ass off the whole way.

Over the years I’ve often wondered what happened to the girl when her father got into his van the following morning to go to work and was hit with that first wave of urine stench. I’ll bet she never got the van again.

NuRelic

[jacedk]

NuRelic, please don't do this to me!

I usually read the forum from work, and it's pretty darn hard not to break down laughing while reading that story.

[nurelic]

Yeah, I had all but forgotten it until reading this post. Pretty damn funny.

[happycamper374]

Wow, now that was a great piss story. God, when I was 12, I drank sunny D at Boy Scout campouts. Shit.....

The rest were good too

[snickers99]

This one time...at a Boy Scout campout....

[puckhead23]

NuRelic, please don't do this to me!

I usually read the forum from work, and it's pretty darn hard not to break down laughing while reading that story.

Really, NuRelic. I'm at work too. I'm laughing so hard, I'm gonna get fired!!! Freaking hilarious!!!! I was going to tell my story, but yours is the best in history.

[darkdenim]

@ NuRelic