[Bitch] Customer service menus suck!
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3 posts • Page 1 of 1
[Bitch] Customer service menus suck!
by caffiend » Thu Mar 08, 2007 4:46 pm
It's funny, I never used to mind automated call centers or online forms, but I'm beginning to hate them with a passion. The reason is there's never an option for "you guys fucked up."
I like to think I have an IQ above small reptiles and dust mites, so chances are I'm calling you with an issue that isn't easily solved. I don't want seven inapplicable options, I want the one that's for people who got struck by lightning while jumping out of the way of a cow falling from a UFO.
Case in point, a certain nameless out of state bank spelt my name wrong on an account I opened over the phone. Does their help line have a "trouble with your account option?" Hell no. It has a million ones like balance inquiry, mortgage options, ordering checks. You can't even press a button to talk to a person. What? Now I need to navigate aimlessly through multiple layers of this shit to get to someone in a totally unrelated department so they can transfer me? Hooray, efficiency.
Exhibit two, I forgot to renew a debit card I use infrequently at a nameless web company, so they marked the account closed. Fair enough, except their web page doesn't let you send a message to customer support about that. My first guess was "apply" as it looked like the one most likely to end up with someone who could help, but picking that subject drops you out of the message center and into the online application. Goddamn it! So I tried report lost/stolen, on the theory that I'll need a new card. Hah, automated report number two. I'm so pissed.
I like to think I have an IQ above small reptiles and dust mites, so chances are I'm calling you with an issue that isn't easily solved. I don't want seven inapplicable options, I want the one that's for people who got struck by lightning while jumping out of the way of a cow falling from a UFO.
Case in point, a certain nameless out of state bank spelt my name wrong on an account I opened over the phone. Does their help line have a "trouble with your account option?" Hell no. It has a million ones like balance inquiry, mortgage options, ordering checks. You can't even press a button to talk to a person. What? Now I need to navigate aimlessly through multiple layers of this shit to get to someone in a totally unrelated department so they can transfer me? Hooray, efficiency.
Exhibit two, I forgot to renew a debit card I use infrequently at a nameless web company, so they marked the account closed. Fair enough, except their web page doesn't let you send a message to customer support about that. My first guess was "apply" as it looked like the one most likely to end up with someone who could help, but picking that subject drops you out of the message center and into the online application. Goddamn it! So I tried report lost/stolen, on the theory that I'll need a new card. Hah, automated report number two. I'm so pissed.
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caffiend - Whale Hunter
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by tightpoker » Fri Mar 09, 2007 2:22 am
I hear you. I have to deal with a lot of automated menus where you speak. Problem is, it's apparently running DOS 2.0 on a 4mhz computer, because screaming "YES" or "NO" as an option gets a "I don't understand, please repeat?" about 3 out of 4 times. Makes me want to tear my hair out.
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tightpoker - Site Admin
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